Friday, February 04, 2005

Uh Oh ... The Lancet's At It Again!

Showing once again why I resolutely ignore any and all food-and-drink related health warnings, a study has just come out showing that alcohol consumption was linked to more than 60 different medical conditions including breast cancer and heart disease. Wait ... I thought alcohol was supposed to be good for your heart ... or maybe that's just if you don't engage in two-pints-in-a-night 'binge drinking'. The joyless puritans who conducted the study go on to recommend higher prices and reduced availability as the most efficacious method of lowering the occurance of illness deriving from the Demon Drink.

As I said, I intend to ignore this study (conducted, incidentally, by the Lancet, those paragons of disinterested inquiry who charged, weeks before the election, that the U.S. military had offed 100,000 Iraqi civilians since entering the country.) I am certain, however, that nanny-statists the world over will be only to eager to put into place it's recommendations. I've yet to meet a politician who didn't get a hard-on at the thought of extracting yet more cash from the citizenry whilst simultaneously limiting their freedom in yet one more petty way. Of equal certainty is that, some years down the line, a study will come out showing alcohol to have a beneficial effect on 60 (or more) medical conditions. The little hitlers who inhabit the health ministries and lobby groups will, of course, ignore that study entirely (just as they have ignored studies showing nicotine to have a positive effect on parkinsons, alzheimers, and senility in general. It's okay to be old and stupid, but god forbid you be marginally less old and short of breath.)

Of course, this wouldn't be an issue if it weren't for 'free' public health care. But then, no one ever stopped to think that if it's the government's responsibility to pay the repair bills for our bodies, the government would get the idea that said bodies are its property. No government in its right mind would ever have entertained the thought of passing laws and raising taxes in order to promote 'healthy lifestyles' amongst (theoretically) responsible adults. Not, that it, before the welfare state. Now it's second nature, and the world gets a little less fun every day.

So before the government decides, in our best interests of course, that bars should close at 7 p.m. and beer should cost $50 the pint, I'm going out 'binge drinking.' And so should you.

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